The Regimental Ball, part 2

Friday night, July 18, 2008, was the evening of the U.S. Army Chaplain Corps Regimental Dining-Out at the Fort Jackson NCO Club. I had my dress. Michael's uniform was ready. We ended up having a late lunch and when we got back to the hotel, Michael had to work on his sermon that he is preaching at chapel on Monday. It had to be turned in before we left. So, I got ready except for dressing, and then I waited for Michael. Michael finally finished his sermon, e-mailed it, and showered. We got dressed and were ready to go.

Victoria was asked to babysit for the evening. So, we drove to Fort Jackson and dropped Victoria off with the children she was watching. We drove to the NCO Club and arrived at 17:18. (I know, I know. I'm having to get used to this Army time, too.) The chaplains have been taught to arrive everywhere ten minutes early. The event was to be from 17:30 - 21:00. We think something happened to the invites or something because nothing got started until 6 p.m. (oops! I mean 18:00). Anyway, there was a neat display of the past 233 years of the Chaplain Corps. We had our picture made in front of it.

We were ushered into a "mingling" room. I'm not a big mingler. Neither was anyone in our group. So, we mingled together. :O) While we mingled, some chaplains went to a corner of the room and were messing with their shoes. Their laces were supposed to be tucked in. So, the guys examined their shoes. Michael walked over to the corner and worked on his laces.

You may be wondering about this attention to detail. I will explain shortly.

As we "mingled," my feet started to hurt pretty bad. We ended up mingling for about an hour with nowhere to sit down and rest my toes. Ouch! We were then told the head table (not the official term, sorry) was ready for us in the receiving line. We were to get in a line; we were not to shake the hand of the adjutant. The adjutant would find out our names and announce us to the Commandant. The Commandant in turn would introduce us to his wife who would introduce us to the Chief of Chaplains (two star general) and so on and so on. So, we got in line and made our way to the front of the receiving line. Michael was in front of me to tell the adjutant who we were, then I was supposed to get in front of him to move through the line. Lots to remember, isn't it??? 

After the receiving line, we went back into the mingling room...more standing and waiting. We ended up standing for about an hour-and-a-half before we were told to go into the dining room and find a place to sit. 

I already knew that we didn't sit yet and we didn't touch the chair. The Mrs. Vice (I know) gave us a little instruction as we entered. She said the proper etiquette was to find a seat quickly without talking and not to touch the chair. So, now we were standing in the dining room without touching our chairs and without talking. We waited and waited. I was ready to cut my feet off and put them out of their misery. 

While we waited, a lady's cell phone at the table next to ours went off. That was a big no-no. She quickly turned it off.

Finally, the head table was announced and made their way into the dining room and to their chairs. The Color Guard was announced and made their slow procession to the head table to post the colors. During this, a young lady behind us passed out. As I said, we had been standing an extremely long time, our feet were hurting (at least those of us in heels), and it was getting warm. Bless her heart, her husband and another chaplain helped her to a chair and people started fanning her. They escorted her out...all of this during the posting of the colors. 

After the colors were posted, the National Anthem was played, then an invocation, and then many toasts. There was a gunner at each table whose task it was to make sure that everyone's glass was full at all times. Our gunner filled our glass with a lovely sparkling grape juice, and we toasted...and toasted...and toasted some more. Finally, we were told we could take our seats. Praise God! I think I ended up standing in my heels for about two hours. Phew! I was happy to sit down.

We then had a cake-cutting ceremony. A chaplain and chaplain assistant went to the front and cut a cake with a sword. It was pretty fun! Then, best of all was the Grog Bowl Ceremony.

The Grog Bowl is the reason the chaplains were so concerned about their perfect appearance. Below is a picture of the Grog Bowl.

Yes, toilets. Into the Grog Bowl was poured different ingredients to represent the many wars we have fought in and to remember our fallen heroes. If I remember correctly, this is what went into the Grog Bowl: tea, vinegar, coffee, an entire bottle of hot sauce, water, seltzer water, Red Bull, tomato juice, and ginseng. I think that is the entire list. The "secret" ingredient was brought up by a soldier carrying an Army boot. He pulled out a sock with something in it (dry ice). And he dropped it into the Grog Bowl. The mixture created a fog that poured over the rim of the toilet. It bubbled and bubbled. 

I now understood why the men were afraid of not looking perfect. If they were found to be at fault, they had to drink from the Grog Bowl. But it wasn't as simple as that. In order to get to the Grog Bowl, they had to high step up to the bowl, turn and salute the President, sing and dance "I'm a Little Teapot" with all of the correct movements. After they sang, they had to shout, "Pro Deo et Patria" which is the Chaplain Corps' motto. (For God and Country) They then had to ask Mr. and Mrs. Vice permission to refresh themselves from the Grog Bowl. Once permission was granted, they were to pick up a cup in their left hand. Fill the cup with the ladle from the bowl with their right hand and then proceed to drink every drop. Once they had drunk their grog, they were to hold their cup upside down to show that every drop was gone. IF a drop fell out of the cup, they had to drink more. Finally, they had to quickly make their way back to their seat.

Do you remember the lady whose cell phone went off? It was brought to the attention of the President by Mr. Vice. He knew the table but not the culprit. The lady would not stand up and admit it was hers. Neither would her husband, an Army chaplain who is not in classes with our guys. Therefore, anyone at that table who was in the Army had to make their way to the Grog Bowl, even after they were asked to have integrity and admit whose phone went off. Wow! I couldn't believe her husband wouldn't admit it. So, they all made their way to the Grog Bowl and refreshed themselves. :O)

Do I need to say that it was a crazy night of people making their way to the Grog Bowl and some horrible renditions of "I'm a Little Teapot?" Thankfully, none of our friends had to go to the Grog Bowl. They were all very relieved. The Grog Bowl took place during our dinner. It was crazy! But, it was fun!

Dinner consisted of chicken, ham, roast beef, potatoes, green beans, rolls, salad, and dessert. It was very nice, and we had a lot of fun.

There is, of course, more to tell, but I have already written a novel. I think you get the idea that it was all very precise. Oh! One more thing, once you were in the dining room, you were not allowed to leave unless you asked permission from Mr. and Mrs. Vice and then from the President. Wow! (By the way, Mr. Vice and Mrs. Vice are the titles of the two people in charge of the event.) 

If you have comments or questions about this memorable event, please don't hesitate to ask. It was a great first experience.